1. Steal as many ball point pens as you can fit in your pants.
2. Break the ball point pens in half using a sledge hammer in an inflatable kiddie pool.
3. Slosh around in the pool naked, on your front lawn, so that your neighbors can see and have to step away from the television and really hate you for it.
4. Smear the ink all over your body until you are covered in ink.
5. Throw yourself against the side of the house, leaving obscure marks that no one including yourself really cares about until all the ink is gone or you pass out.
6. Throw yourself in the trash.